Expectations

Inspired by our sermon at church today. As usual, that's when my writing hits me. Everything in my life is centered around Coraline's teeth. So every time he mentions worry, troubles, stress, expectations, trusting God...to me it all goes back to her teeth. My only stress. My only worry. My only fear. It consumes me. It literally CONSUMES ME. I skip birthday parties, play dates, holidays with family. I'm worried what our outspoken family members will say. I worry that they will call me a neglectful mother. I worry they will make fun of my child. I worry they will post pictures and everyone on Facebook will think I'm giving my kid processed crap and juice. I worry they will think negatively on nursing. I worry they will give her self esteem problems. 24/7 this consumes my mind, my heart and my soul. This is EVERYTHING to me. I don't want it to be. I don't want this. I want her to be able to enjoy a guilt free cupcake at a peer's party. I would like a family pizza night. It would be easier on me. It would be easier on everyone. Unfortunately, I was chosen for this task. For some reason or another, there's a goal in the end. 

So when we were told to circle 1-10, how much do we trust God with our troubles... How often do we say "God, I'm going to let you handle this one. I can't do it", I had to be honest with myself....2? 3? Maybe? When I pray about her teeth (which I do every day) I pray for guidance. I pray for the wisdom to come to me from outside sources. I pray for the finances to buy the supplements I need. I pray for inner peace to get me through play dates or rough nights at dinner time. I never tell God to handle it. I never put all my faith in him. I have put SO MUCH WEIGHT on my own shoulders that I am a constant ball of stress and anxiety. I have alienated my friends and family. My load is heavy. My heart is heavy. 

I need you to handle this God. I just can't do it anymore. I am giving up and giving into you. You are my leader, you are my crutch, you are in control. Please, please...fix my baby. Fix her gut. Fix her allergies. Fix her mineral absorption. I don't know what else to do. 

Last time I put God in control of my life was when I lost myself 2009/2010. I gave up my resentment and atheism and prayed..."something isn't working. I need help. I can not live this way any more. I can not continue with emotional abuse and this self hatred that every man in my life has ever instilled upon me. I am giving up and giving in. I need a God. I need My God. Because my life is and has always been a mess." That is when I met Hugh. That is when I met a man who has loved me unconditionally for almost 4 years. Who has never gone a day without telling me I am beautiful. I do not deserve him. I do not always appreciate him as I should.  But when I do start feeling a disconnection in my marriage, if I only pray and tell God how I'm feeling, it is ALWAYS fixed ten fold. I can't explain this. God is unexplainable. Just as i trusted him to heal my lost self early 2010, I now trust in him to heal my baby.

 

I may be considered an ignorant sheep to liberals and the like. When it comes to religion, I understand that. I have been there. I sported my agnostic bumper sticker and shirt throughout high school. I made fun of the "bible thumping rednecks". I was also miserable in my own skin. Miserable with my home life. Miserable in my relationship. Opening my heart to God has saved my life. My expectations are I reachable because I don't know what my God has in store for my family. I just know it will be great.

I would never think in a million years I would marry a man who loves me so much! ❤

And if the only thing I have to worry about is my daughter's teeth, I would say I'm living a pretty blessed life. 

Holidays.

Whew we have had a rough few weeks! I started babysitting another little boy and I am constantly on the go. The second he leaves I have to get caught up on cleaning, cooking, and of course trolling my tooth decay groups for more information. It's been a slow month for the tattoo industry and I've had to cut out a few supplements. My husband's truck also broke down so we are in a bind, to say the least. This is where FAITH comes in. I did not know what we were going to do. We ran out of our Living Streams products and it was very obvious in Coraline's attitude and teeth. Her only tooth left intact had become wiggly and cracked, and I was FREAKING OUT. I haven't had a tooth breakdown in awhile because my amazing friends from my groups inspire me and help me so much. But this week, I broke down. I broke down hard.

I didn't understand. This week I gave generously in tithes. More than we could afford. I took two kids off the angel tree. Not because I expected anything, but because I felt empowered to. Then BOOM! all these obstacles fell on us. I don't blame God. I know obstacles happen for a reason. Maybe I'm being tested? Maybe Satan wants to deter me from doing good? Who knows. This is where the amazing people in my life come into play. Without saying too much, I now have a plethora of supplements for Coraline! I have kefir grains and bottled kefir to help heal her gut! I have a scoby due to arrive anyday. I have alfalfa, bifido, mineral spray, moringa AND derma! I have Lugols iodine, Hylands vitamin C and Houstons digestive enzymes. I have BestMade cell salts and plantago coming next week.

I have amazing friends. I have amazing faith. I have a child who's healing. I have a dry pillow tonight. 🙏

We also found the PERFECT chiropractor and naturopath. He uses muscle testing to determine what is good for her body or bad. This way we can figure out her food allergies and what medications we can avoid. It's $150 for the first visit so hopefully after the holidays we can go. I'm very optimistic. His last name is Sunshine so really, he must be great! Although I'm not updating as much, I'm still not giving up! I am working harder than ever to heal her gut & her teeth. We can tell a huge difference in her speech and smile since the frenectomy. I'm so glad we did it!

Another Obstacle Crossed.

Frenectomy = done. Do you have any idea how long I have been waiting to say that?! Almost a year! I am so glad we got it done. Dr. McMurtry was wonderful. I can't say enough how glad I am we made the drive to Charlotte. It was so quick, maybe 4 minutes tops. I'm not going to lie, those four minutes sucked, but we read a Mickey Mouse book after and she was laughing and waving at everyone. When I brush her teeth and do the stretches I can definitely tell how much more tooth is visible and able to be cleaned by her saliva and tongue. (We got her tongue tie done too.) Dr. McMurtry also poked around in her mouth and of course said she had severe decay (duh) but also assured me that some of the teeth were hardened and would be able to stay! As long as I continue with our diet and supplements I have no doubt we will continue to see improvements. He was very supportive of our holistic lifestyle and did not pressure me into anything at all. Thanks Brian!

The stretches were hard the first day or two but now she doesn't mind at all and likes to practice on her babies and me. I can't wait to see how healing will progress! I was very worried about pain but we haven't needed ANYTHING. I have her a few arnica tablets before the stretches the first two days but honestly I don't think it changed anything. 

The first picture was taken around 13 months. Oh how I wish we would have gotten it revised then!

Anxious.

Two days until we are going to Charlotte for the laser frenectomy. Anxious is an understatement. I am very excited. I really think this is the last obstacle keeping the healing from occurring. Or at least the decay from halting. We don't have the funds for this at all. But like the holistic dentist said, this is so important, you FIND the money. He had no correlation with the laser dentist either, he was sincerely there to help us. So I feel this is what is right. This dentist uses a swaddle blanket. Coraline LOVES to practice swaddling. We do it everyday on her babies. So this past week we have been practicing swaddling her and zzzzzzzz her teeth. She loves it. I think it will go well.

If you are reading this and you are one of the people that owe us a portion of the $5,300 we desperately need for my daughters medical care...don't be an asshole. My husband won't say it, but I will. It's slow season, my child care income is minimal and my daughter has needs that we can't ignore. 

That being said, she is doing great. Her teeth seem to look the same, but harder and stronger. Most importantly, she's happy. She's eating so much. Talking to much. Sleeping so soundly. She is so perfect. I am so thankful. 

I can't wait to update you with the aftermath of the frenectomy. I have arnica and acontinim for aftercare. I am hoping to get rescue remedy on Monday. 

PS: my tooth no longer hurts at all. Dentist said root canal or infection will take over. I chewed up and swallowed a shitload of garlic and took oil of oregano for two days. No more pain at all! YES! 

I am currently awaiting vitamin d3, zinc and silica from Amazon. I think these are also very important. I think I'm going to stop with the bifido and alfalfa for awhile. 

Irony and Fear Mongering

Well, this week has sucked. Not because of Coraline, she is as happy as ever. She is eating healthier daily and signs "more" for her fermented cod liver and butter oil every morning! It's because I, the holier than thou tooth decay expert, have the worst fucking toothache alive. In a back molar far far away. My filling fell out while I was pregnant and it really hit me this week. Crying in agony, up all night, praying for relief. I made an appointment to get it extracted because I just can't handle this pain.

And then I thought, what a hypocrite?! Here I am obsessed with helping my daughter and having great progress, yet I am so easy to pull my own tooth because of a little PAIN? I have had needles pounding my legs, feet, ribs for over 8 hours straight! I have delivered a baby! And I'm going to let a toothache get me down? Nope. Not gonna happen. So today I got ready, told myself I was gonna tough it out, prayed for the strength (because this shit sucks) and cancelled my extraction. 

Don't tell my mom. 

Here's we're the fear tactics play. I thought that only pediatric dentists did this. Nope. They're all the same. ANTIBIOTICS. Gasp! It's a four letter word in our family. The second I heard this I hung up the phone. I told them I was eating raw garlic. I told them I had oil of oregano. I told them I was oil pulling. Nope. Not good enough. Antibiotics are apparently sent from God above to solve everything. Guess what? WRONG! Everything I need is in nature. Everything I need I don't have to have a prescription for. My own family, my own best friends, have told me I will die of blood infections. How familiar does that sound? Oh yeah, it's the same horseshit that got me started on this voyage. So thanks, I needed the reminder. I am stronger than Pharma. 

Here's the article that got me fired up. She's my favorite.

Updated routine.

Approximately 10am- nurses, gets up. I make my morning coffee and C drinks her raw milk sippy, takes half a dropper of Living Stream probiotics, cell salts 1,2,8 and Bioplasma. (3 of each). First thing every morning. 

11am - breakfast. 2 farm fresh free range eggs and AppleGate bacon cooked in butter. Our farm doesn't sell her bacon. :(

After this C takes half a dropper of her Living Streams alfalfa and bifido. She will also have one of her gelatin gummies and a teaspoon of fermented cod liver and butter oil. Then I brush her teeth with coconut oil and Earthpaste. Followed by spraying the front four with Living Minerals probiotic spray. Coat them with MI paste. Xylitol candy to end the routine. 

Nap around 1-2:30 then lunch at 3. Typical lunch includes an AppleGate hotdog and zucchini or a ham, raw cheese and kale spinach wrap. Washed down by water or raw milk. Xylitol candy after. Also another batch of cell salts. 

7 or so we start dinner. If she starts getting antsy or hungry while I'm cooking I will heat up some broth and she will sip on that or some cheese. We currently buy organic valley raw cheese. That's the best option we have, our farm is running low for the winter. Anyway, typical dinner is a meat (chops, steak, ground beef steak, grilled chicken), with steamed vegetables cooked in water/beef broth, and stewed potatoes. I try to fill her up on the Others before the potatoes but they're my husbands favorite and he's really suffering from our diets. Lol! To make these I just chop up organic potatoes, boil them in beef broth and Real Salt for about 20 minutes, then add 3 teaspoons raw butter. 

After this she gets her bath. Warm water and about a cup of magnesium flakes. I really think she's low in magnesium. I also try to spray her with the magnesium oil often throughout the day. Sometimes it burns her so we really rely on the flakes at bath time.  Another round of cell salts.

BED TIME! We night weaned at 16 months after the dentist scared us into it. Clearly it didn't change anything, but Ido enjoy my night time alone when her daddy is putting her to sleep. He really cherishes this time as well. Anyway, this is hard because she is typically very tired and fights the brushing. So I start a Mickey Mouse movie, pause it after a few minutes, and say "let's brush our teeth then we can watch Mickey!" That usually does the trick. First I put some peroxide on a qtip and blot the problem areas. Then I load up her brush with coconut oil and Earthpaste and brush them to the best of my ability. After I'm sure I've gotten all the good spots, I spray the Living Streams Mineral Spray on them 4 or so times. Then I typically give her MORE coconut oil to really make sure that bacteria is gone. She likes to help smear it. Sometimes I will also put a drop or two of black walnut extract on her tongue too, depending on her mood. Then I coat the front 4 with MI Paste (she calls it paint because we "paint" the front 4 teeth with it) and give her a xylitol candy. She happily screams DONE DADDY and he comes in our room and lays with her until she's asleep. 

Sounds tedious at first but we have been doing this for around two months now, adding supplements along the way, and the change in her mood has been spectacular. She is so much happier, so full of life, talking in complete sentences, more outgoing, sleeping better, eating more and willing to try new things. Her teeth are STRONG. They are chipped but they are very strong. She has no sensitivity anymore at all. After her frenectomy Tuesday I really can't wait to see how the healing is going to progress. I do not expect God to miraculously make them pearly white again, but I pray every night he guides me, gives me wisdom and puts the right people in my path to help me on this journey. I do feel like there's a bigger picture, I do feel like I can change the world. 

Victory.

It has only been a month and 13 days since I felt so deeply saddened by our tooth decay situation that I was on my hands and knees praying for guidance, wisdom and hope. This past month has been so inspirational and life changing for our family. The way we are eating and feeling has done a complete 360. My daughter no longer asks for tea and refers to it as "shew shews". She signs for more fermented cod liver and butter oil. She eats squash, broccoli, kale and bone marrow. She drinks a whole cup of broth from a mason jar. Her body knows what it needs. Her body is thanking me. --Her hair is growing and glowing.

-Her nails have to be cut constantly.

-Her teeth and hard and she is biting into things with them!

-Her vocabulary has blossomed, she is speaking in full sentences at 22 months old!

-Her appetite is fulfilled by healthy fats and vegetables. She never asks for bread or biscuits and only one or two fruits a week!

I have a side by side picture of the difference a month of strict diet change and supplements has made but I'm hesitant to share it. Not many people believe in the power of nutrition and I have no tolerance for ignorance. I can share that I posted it in a private group called Cure Tooth Decay and my inbox has blown up with questions and praise from people who I have given hope to. So today I feel whole and hopeful. I prayed for this peace while having a breakdown Sunday and my God does not disappoint. 

I need to write another post with what we're doing step by step but I just don't have the time. Here is a comment I shared with a stressed out mom in the same place I was emotionally when I started this blog.

The gelatin gummies have been a HIT and I'm so excited about them. I got the recipe from WellnessMama but it's so easy! Just 8 teaspoons Great Lakes Gelatin and 1/2 cup of juice. I used beet kvass and fresh squeezed lemon. Added a tiny bit of raw honey, heated it just enough to solidify the gelatin, popped it in the freezer for ten minutes and then cut it into ugly little squares. Note to self:get a mold. I also whisked in the living streams probiotics before putting it in the freezer. She has eaten them all in 2 days! 

Remember when I said I couldn't cut out fruit from our lunch? Well I did. For weeks now we've been eating zucchini instead of grapes and it's been a welcome change. 

While I cook dinner this angel alternates from broth to raw milk. She truly is my superstar. (Look at that hair!)

People ask what we snack on constantly. Today we ate some squash and kale sautéed in butter. A little effort and gluten is a thing of the past. 

She has been much more energetic (as well as I) since adding in magnesium flakes and oil to our protocol. 

The one thing that is stressing me out is the laser frenectomy scheduled in Charlotte for November 5th. I am SO nervous about it but hopeful at the same time. I really hope that this is the last piece of this complicated puzzle I have been so lucky to endure. ❤

Newest Additions

This week has been great! My husband and I celebrated our third anniversary and had a baby free date in Gatlinburg! Our babysitter was amazing! She eats a paleo diet and cooked Coraline organic grilled chicken and asparagus with cucumber well water to wash it down. Me=impressed. So blessed we found her! 

I also received magnesium flakes, oil, and aloe which I am SO excited about. Magnesium deficiency is the cause of so many health problems. We have been giving cell salt #8 to combat mag deficiency but magnesium is absorbed best through skin. Coraline loves for me to spray the oil on her toes and rub it in. How many other toddlers get a foot massage multiple times a day!? The flakes help bath time go by smoothly too. She loves the "crystals". 

Oh, can I brag that she's speaking in full sentences now? At 21 months. Is that normal? I swear she's a genius. Hugh came home from work and we were telling him all about our daily activities: park, friends, puppies, Mickey Mouse, when she looks him square in the eye and says..."and mommy eat broccoli!"

JAW MEET FLOOR. Amazed! 

Anyway, going to Charlotte in the next few weeks for the laser frenectomy which I am crazy excited about. We were going to the holistic dentist in Franklin for it but just for the lip tie it's $700 and she doesn't do it on small children often. Dr. McMurtry is recommended on the TT/LT group on FB and has been messaging me on Facebook about it. It's only 550 for the lip and tongue. He does it everyday. Plus Charlotte is pretty and I've always wanted to visit there. I am so ready for that to be over with because I am the biggest stressed out wench over it. Mainly just the money & planning. Who will watch our dogs? Will we stay the night? Will the kids I babysit have a backup? Will Hugh be able to take off work?! (If not, I am totally making a mom/Coraline vacay out of the trip). 

The only update on pooks is that she's fabulous. I'm totally not bothered by her teeth anymore because to me they look normal. I can't imagine them any other way. She's eating so much more and her appetite is so varied. She's trying new things and it makes my heart sing. We are still doing the plethora of cell salts 1,2,8, FCLO, Living Streams, xylitol candy, grain free diet,  broth, coconut oil blah blah blah daily. It's a routine now & once again I can't imagine life differently. 

Advice from Rami Nagel himself

Rami Nagel was answering questions in our Cure Tooth Decay group these past 3 days. I was SO glad and thankful he did this! I screenshot a few things to share here :) 

Answer:

About Ozone: 

Still feeling great over here :) 

October Update

I have been meaning to update for awhile but we have been so busy! I started babysitting a sweet little boy so by the time he leaves I have to clean, run errands, cook dinner etc. The big news I've been meaning to share is that Dr. Gardner finally called us back and Nina Foley, a holistic dentist in Franklin,Tn has agreed to help us with Coraline! She says she can do composite fillings on all four! You have no idea how happy this makes me. Just to know that pulling isn't our only option. She also offers conscious sedation which is much safer than nitrous oxide. (Especially with the suspected MTHFR mutation.) So that's the great news. We are waiting for our insurance to get worked out and then probably this winter we will make the trip to Franklin for the consult. She is highly recommended on all Weston Price Foundation sites and every holistic dental page I've found. I am so happy she is helping us!

Coraline's decay seems to have halted. I have added cell salt 2 and quit giving Bioplasma. So she's taking 1,2 and 8 , 3 times a day. We also got cinnamon tingle FCLO which we are all happy about. Unflavored is disgusting. Our newest addition is MI Paste which is supposedly a must have. (Can you see why I started babysitting?) I suggest the simple paste and not the plus because of the fluoride in the plus. This has actually made brush time much much easier. She loves the taste and putting it on with the qtip.
Active decay feels very "squishy". While the color may not change, halted decay will harden and be more glossy. I can feel this while she's sleeping. She is also biting into her food now when before we had to cut it so she can transfer it to her molars to chew.

If you are looking for support for issues like these, although I hate to say it, Facebook is where it's at. I had mine deleted for a long time and it was wonderful, but it was a necessity that I joined the groups Natural Alternatives for Kids Teeth, Natural Healing Co-op, Magnesium Support and Wild Fermentation. The information I've found on these is priceless. I am so thankful for the friends I've acquired that share this journey with me. It is hard because I feel like my real life friends will never understand this stress. I find it so unfair my daughter can't eat bread, crackers, juice, tea, berries. Yet their kids eat goldfish and Hi-C and have a gorgeous smile. I don't want to be angry about it. I want to MOVE ON. But I can't. I almost wish I could be a normal person who'd just did the caps 4 months ago and was done with it. However, it's to come to my attention that many cases of leaky gut, lip ties and tooth decay has to do with the MTHFR mutation. An online friends homeopath thinks their case is from military vaccines altering genetic makeup. My husband comes from a military background so that's definitely something to think about!

The MTHFR mutation means your child probably reacts strongly to toxins like household cleaners, detergents, vaccines, food intolerances, and especially NITROUS OXIDE. So while it would have been easier to just do the caps and get this shit over with, it would have been the end of my world if something happened to my daughter that could have been prevented. My goal Is to keep them from getting worse or hurting her until they fall out on their own or we can pull without sedation. If Nina says the bone structure is hard and no risk of infection, we will probably just let them look bad until they fall out. If she says they need fixed, I will let them be fixed under her care. I trust her. Although, the white composite seems heaven sent. I don't even think I can imagine her with a perfect smile.

Well, it's perfect to us anyway.

Frustration.

For a week or two I was feeling very happy and hopeful. But slowly my elation is fading and I'm once again living in the present. Today Coraline was so grouchy. We met up with a few other moms at the park and she cried most of the time and wouldn't play with anyone else. She's 21 months, so I'm guessing its semi-normal to be ill and throw tantrums. My dilemma is I immediately think it's because her teeth are hurting her. It could be that she's tired, or irritated that she can't communicate what she wants. All I hear is, "my teeth hurt mommy. How could you let this happen to me?"

Tonight I feel like I failed. My husband is irritated at my constant worry over gluten contamination and sugar intake. My in laws are visiting soon and I know it will start a fight when they insist we go out to eat. I don't know what to make for dinner that SHE can have and my husband will eat. I feel like I'm doing more than anyone I know has ever tried and it's still not enough.

I want to get digital X-rays but my husband lost our insurance forms and Dr. Gardner still hasn't called us back with a trustworthy dentist. Did I mention that he told us that if a client rejects dental care, pediatric dentists are told in school to call DFACS? I am so worried about my child tonight. So angry this is happening to me. Every time another child smiles with their perfect teeth I just want to look away and hide. Every time Coraline smiles at a stranger I find a way to bring up gluten intolerance, as if I owe them an explanation.
All I have dreamed of is my daughter having the picture perfect childhood that I dreamed of. Self esteem so high that no man could ever knock her down. I feel like I'm failing.

Weekly update

We have been on the Living Streams probiotics for about 2 weeks or so now. Maybe more, I've lost track of time. We are about halfway through the alfalfa, bifido and mineral spray so I am a bit worried as these are NOT cheap. But guess what...

THEY WORK! 

I've had a lot of friends say that they had a whole new baby after getting the dental work done. That's what I've been longing for. I wanted my happy baby so bad. These past 2 weeks she has been absolutely AMAZING! So happy! Singing songs all over the house. Stuffing her face full every single meal and then signing for more. Playing by herself with her babies. Talking...oh boy is she talking! Giving us spontaneous hugs and kisses. She doesn't even cry. Ever! At all! She sleeps all night. (She was waking up crying). I really feel like her dentin that was exposed is lightening up. As if the enamel is growing back over it? Or maybe the enamel before was just translucent? I don't know. I don't care. I'm happy, she's happy. And for now we are just thankful. Thankful she is 21 months today. Another month down. Another month closer to these damn teeth falling out on their own. That's how I look at time. Isn't it pathetic?

Our week has been great though. We bought our herd share from a real and wonderful farm. It's a terrible drive but well worth it. The cows are so happy. The hogs are enormous. The chickens have acres and acres to explore. These animals are so happy and healthy & you can definitely tell in the milk. It's almost yellow because its so creamy. Coraline loves it. 

We also went to Earth Fare for the first time and fell in love. The lady at the counter added me to their "crunchy mom" group and I've made a few local friends. We bought all the Trilogy kombucha my bank account could handle and plenty of bones for broth this week. (Did you know you're supposed to boil beef bones for 2 days?! I didn't! Oops!) 

Then we got all of our awesome ingredients from Earth fare and made paleo pumpkin bread. I got the recipe from Wellness Mama. She rocks. It turned out pretty good. Not very sweet, I think I needed more honey. 

All in all, I'm still hopeful regarding the products and our protocol. I see definite improvement but not sure if its the heaven sent prayer I've been asking for. I keep my faith in The Lord. I've already answered SO many emails, texts and especially FB messages, I feel like there's a reason this happened to us. 

Description of Supplements

Here is a description of everything we use multiple times daily for Coraline's teeth. 

1. Living Streams Probiotics Alfalfa - Alfalfa is high in calcium, magnesium, potassium and carotene. One of the benefits of using alfalfa is that it works to protect the heart and helps with cell division. Since the discovery of alfalfa during the sixth century, alfalfa has been used to aid body functions and correct imbalances.
2.  Living Streams bifido - Bifidobacteria are one variety of “good” bacteria that live in a healthy intestinal tract. Since bifidobacteria exist naturally in your gastrointestinal system, you might guess that nature intends bifidobactera to serve a specific purpose there, and your guess would be correct. Along with many of the other gut flora, which is the collective term for the bacteria that occur naturally in your intestines, bifidobacteria aid in the food digestion process. (This product has been rumored to unlock certain parts of the brain aiding in more loving tendencies. This is very true for our family! I am so attached since starting them that it is borderline annoying!) lol
3. Living Minerals Spray - there is not a write up on this on our Co-op but it is a conjunction of minerals from the Dead Sea that I spray directly onto her teeth multiple times a day.  
4. Hylands cell salts 1- (calc phos) and 8 (magnesium phos) 
5. Hylands Bioplasma - all 12 of the cell salts but in smaller doses 
6. Green pastures fermented cod liver and butter oil - seriously, look this stuff up. It's amazing for the body! The essential mix of vitamins for tooth restoration, beautiful hair/skin, and a healthy body! Weston Price recommends this to heal teeth as well. We take 1 teaspoon a day. Bought from Renewedhealth.com 
7. Spry Xylitol berry mints - coraline's favorite! I give her a mint after every meal because xylitol kills bacteria.  
8. Coconut oil - I put this on her brush with her toothpaste because coconut oil also kills bacteria. It is one of the most amazing things you can consume for your body. Not only is it great internally, but externally as well. There's literally hundreds of uses.  
9. Lemon Earth paste - this is the toothpaste we use. It is made of xylitol, lemon essential oil and Redmond clay. It tastes great. 
10. Black Walnut Extract - is GREAT for killing bacteria and parasites as well as lessen tooth pain and prevent abscess. 

In just a few days I will get my Living Streams Probiotics and I can't wait to start them to get both of our guts right on track. Somedays I feel like I'm working in a nursing home, but I have to remind myself it won't always be this way. In just a few day my sweet girl will be 21 months. It has almost been a year since we noticed the first few spots that we were told was fluorosis. I would love to go back to those days and start all of this then. Hopefully I can help anyone else who is questioning discoloration of their infants teeth. 
Also Dr. Gardener hasn't called me yet so I will probably get in touch with him tomorrow to find the dentist for us. We will probably do the laser frenectomy as soon as possible. 

I want to add this radio broadcast of Wayne Blakely talking and describing his products. He is truly an amazing man.

Paleo Starbucks Lemon Cake with Glaze

I have been craving my favorite Starbucks treats lately. Fall is in the air, pumpkin spice is covering my Instagram feed, and let's face it, being healthy isn't very fun.  So upon my quest for a fall treat that my pooks can eat, I found this recipe for Paleo lemon cake.

 Now, last time I cooked with coconut flour it didn't turn out very well. But THIS...THIS was amazing! 

 I didn't even have vanilla and it turned out perfect. After this, we made more bone broth and completely pigged out! Being healthy doesn't have to be boring. It just takes more work than opening a box. I used Coconut Secret flour from Vitacost (surprise) and local honey. 

Some great books and Facebook pages to check out for recipes like this would be: Beyond Bacon, Paleo Parents and The Coconut Mama.

**It is a day later and I have eaten the whole thing.

Miswak Stick

As if having a great consultation at Tennessee Natural Life dentistry wasn't enough, I came home to five miswak sticks in my mailbox! I have been really excited to try these out as I have heard great things online. Many youtube videos can show you how to use them correctly and Reni ( the owner of the website) is so sweet! If you tell her you heard about her from me she'll send me a free one too. *hint hint* It's great to support WAHM and individuals rather than huge companies.. Although Amazon has gotten a pretty penny from me lately.

So it looks just like a stick. I just chewed off the bark on the outside (very easy & safe to eat) and voila! It's Quidditch and my plaque is the golden snitch! Coraline has yet to chew on it which is what I'm hoping for. Some bark got stuck in her tooth and she freaked. So my goal is to lead by example and eventually she'll catch on. I will keep you updated as to how it's working in a week or so.

The Importance of Second (and third) Opinions

We just moved states and have NO holistic connections where we are now. We don't know anyone to refer us to someone who will listen to me and understand my concerns. Thankfully on my quest to find raw milk in the area, I came across a farmer who said her dentist is very open minded to Weston Price and will listen and help me handle this naturally. It may be unethical to put their names but I think it's important for anyone who may be looking in the area. His name was Dr. Kizer and we got an appointment the day I called. They were very prompt and efficient but unfortunately NOT what I was told they were. We were there maybe ten minutes in which they told me I was not taking this seriously, she needs work under sedation, what I was quoting from Cure Tooth Decay was scientifically impossible and I needed to see a pediatric dentist right away. He called one and we went to see them an hour later.

Now this place, Children's Pediatric Dentistry of Knoxville was very kid friendly. Lots of toys and movies. It Made the long wait easy. Once we to back to the dentist though...oh Lord I will never go back. The chairs were lined like Red Cross patients. Ten kids all lined in a row as a dentist slid chair to chair cleaning/working. Finally got to us, pulled up Coraline's lip and immediately says, "they've got to go, they will get infected and go to her blood stream.  I will get her on our emergency list for extraction right away and silver crowns on all molars." He would not even acknowledge what I was trying to do. Pretty much rolled his eyes as each word crossed my lips. Apparently we could either do the extractions or watch her teeth rot out of her head. No X-rays were taken. This was maybe a ten minute process. He said to try to get state insurance so it won't cost us a thing and he would see us once we got insurance settled out. And hopped along the line to the next child. 

I burst into tears in front of everyone, cried the whole way home, and then realized...I am stronger than this! I am stronger than these people! I will NOT sit by and do whatever they say. I need someone who understands me. I need someone who won't threaten me. I need someone who has read these books and believes in me as a mother. Today was my appointment with holistic dentist Dr. Gardner and he is that person. 

I prayed the night before, I prayed the way there, and I prayed a thank you upon my return.

Not because he is going to fix her teeth. Not because he told me exactly what I wanted to hear. But because he LISTENED to me. He looked me in the eyes. He had heard of Weston Price. He had heard of miswak, xylitol, mercury toxicity, Cure Tooth Decay, acidic and alkaline PH, everything I spoke of. He told me I HAD TIME. TIME is what I need! He told me that remineralization is possible. He said Enamel growth is not, but he believes in bigger forces. He said there is no way to tell is extraction is necessary without x-rays. He believes most dentists believe their textbook theories and are not willing to learn and listen from the holistic community. His office was not equipped for a child as young as Coraline, but he said he will find someone to help me. He will call everyone he knows and call me with names Monday. He is not THE dentist to help us, but he is a huge piece of the puzzle and I am grateful. 

He said I am doing everything right. Doing more than most know how. And at least the front two if not all are salvageable. We won't know without digital X-rays. So maybe tonight I can sleep peacefully. 

I also HAVE to add that he looks exactly like Eric Northman from True Blood while he was under Marnie's  spell. Glasses, skinny, a little geeky. I mean, exactly. It was very hard not to apologize for Nora's death upon exit. 

Dinner - Not Vegan Friendly

I must add the vegan disclaimer because they have handed my ass to me many times. I have many vegan friends. I admire them so much for their passion over animal rights. You are wonderful people. Unfortunately, Cure Tooth Decay and Weston Price have invaded my brain with grassfed meats and dairy being essential so that's what we are currently practicing.

My photo presentation is way off. Wandering baby fingers are most of my bacon and meat before I was finished cooking. We had a local grass fed beef patty seasoned with Real Salt, it was topped with raw goat cheese and AppleGate farms bacon,  a locally grown cucumber and cauliflower boiled in bone broth. She LOVED it! In the morning we are seeing a holistic dentist so I will definitely update what they say. (Pray for us if that's your thing!) 

I also bought some black walnut extract today and have high hopes. Thanks to Leigh for pointing me in the right direction. Coraline let's me put it right on the decay, it supposedly kills all bacteria. Can't wait until tomorrow to see what Dr. Gardener says! 

What Not to Say.

Whenever you encounter someone facing this issue, you may not know what to do. Do you ignore it? Do you ask what's wrong with her teeth? Do you give advice? Here's what NOT to say, (in my opinion). These are the things that make me fume. And they are said to me daily. 

1." That's why I didn't breastfeed!" Or, "you must nurse her all night long!"

2. "Poor baby." This KILLS me. It is the most popular response. I hate it. Absolutely hate it.

3. Have you seen a dentist? What did they say? 

4. You should be using fluoride. 

5. Why are they like that?!

6. She needs to be drinking more milk. 

I understand that to modern culture you believe these things. There has be bountiful research done about early childhood caries, the conclusions are astounding. Do you not think I have asked myself these questions? Do you not think if I thought it was best for my child I would do it? There is one response that is always wonderful. Until that mother trusts you enough to talk to you about the situation all you need to say is...

"What a happy baby and beautiful smile." 

Afternoon lunch.

Being gluten free is hard. It's even harder when you are trying to focus solely on alkaline foods! Our lunch may not be perfect but it's what I have for now and it's yum. 

Supposedly I should avoid fruit as well. I can't possibly cut out gluten, acidic foods, sugar AND fruit all together! So I grill a spinach tortilla in the bacon fat from the morning. Peel some raw organic valley cheese and two pieces of AppleGate ham. Then we put some kale in the food processor (she loves pushing the button) and throw that in there too. I roll it up, pour some bacon grease on top & voila! We either have carrots, cucumbers or grapes as a side. We only drink water for now until we get our herd share worked out. Then we will add raw milk back to this routine. Once or twice a week I can get her to drink some bone broth out of a mason jar. After eating we always follow with water and 2 xylitol candies. 

Drinks her broth right from a straw! Such a champion. I love this baby! 💖

Morning routine.

We wake up. It's a new day! I roll over to these two blue eyes saying, "hey mommy...hey daddy!" A nights sleep not haunted by dental fear tactics, whew. That's refreshing. Together we trot off to morning potty sesh. I scarf down my coffee. Here we go. 

1.) a dropper of alfalfa probiotic, a dropper of bifido probiotics & 4 sprays of living minerals directly on the top four teeth. She loves this part. Her favorite is when I spray her belly too. "Brr, cold!" 

2.) now the hard part. I made the mistake of getting non flavored Green Pastures Fermented Cod Liver and ButterOil. She loved cinnamon. This one is revolting. I try to give her 1/2 a teaspoon. She says no.  Here comes the bargaining. Spry Xylitol candies save the day. "After we take our medicine we get pink candies!" She gulps it down. All is well. 

3.) I make us 2 pieces of bacon and eggs with organic cultured butter, raw cheese and kale. Daddy has chocolate Cheerios. Asshole. She begs for his. He sneaks her one. I hate him. "THERE'S GMOS IN THERE! CHOCOLATE?! GLUTEN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IM DOING AT ALL?!" He tells her mommy said no. I'm the bad guy. I distract her while he finishes his nasty GMOs by letting her push the button on the food processor. He leaves for work. We do our regular SAHM stuff. 

I brush her teeth as well as possible before nap time. A lot of times it's ten minutes of small brushes and fake crying until I hold her hands and get the front teeth as fast as I can. We currently use lemon earth paste but our miswak stick will be here Friday. 2 Bioplasma tablets always follow this debacle. We have Been taking Hylands Bioplasma for many months now. After we finish this bottle of 1000 I am switching to solely cell salts 1 and 2. A mother whose daughters teeth GREW back in my Facebook group (yes with picture and dental evidence) used these with success. I bought both off vitacost for $14. I am a proud vitacost addict. 

I always nurse to sleep at nap time and then ninja slip away to clean, blog, research, etc...

23.

I am young. I am in the south. Many of my school mates have children. Many are the same age as mine. We are not alike. I am not better than them. My brain functions in a way that few can comprehend. I don't doubt that other mothers love their children unconditionally. Isn't that what a mother does? The love I feel for my daughter is stronger than any emotion I have ever endured. The painstaking first heartbreak as an adolescent, the defeat I felt when I dropped out of college, the numbness my childhood was surrounded with...none of it compares to this life I am responsible for. She is everything. She has grown taller and stronger because of a milk my body has made to nourish her. She falls asleep and wakes up by my side everyday. We have never spent a day apart. She is my best friend, my shadow, my whole heart. 

And I will be damned if I let corporate greed make decisions for her. I will get 2500 second opinions. I will travel states. I will go in debt on supplements. I will and have altered my diet so drastically that somedays I go hungry. I eat only what she can have. Somedays it feels like my stomach is eating itself. I crave spaghetti, toast with GMO jelly. Pancakes. Cokes. Instead I eat eggs that are $5 a carton and $7 bacon that lasts 2 days. This is sacrifice. And I am damn strong for doing it. Do you understand this? Somedays I resent my husband so much that I could just cry. Why can't he be the responsible party for this? Why can't he share some of the blame? Regardless of the issue at hand, whether it be gluten intolerance, lip tie, nursing, magnesium deficiency. It is my cross to bear.

2am

It's 2am. My sweet girl is passed out on her daddy as I lay there, numb. These words swivel around my brain. I'm scared to sleep. Scared to wake up and face another day filled with guilt and embarrassment. Resenting my friends and family who don't know this pain. Realizing how selfish that is of me. Am I a bad person for praying for an ally? I don't wish this on anyone. Silent tears hit the pillow. When she's asleep is the hardest time. When she's sleeping I can't hear her laughter. All I hear is the dentist saying "lay off the sugary juices!" "Breastmilk did this!" "Pull all of them!" Do they not know how hard I'm trying? Is anyone intelligent enough to comprehend there are options? When will I find someone who understands? When will this end? 

Maybe I'm an extremist. Maybe I'm the only one who frets so hard and cries everyday over toddler tooth decay. Maybe I'm the only one who feels like they've ruined their daughters childhood. But I'm guessing I'm not, and that is why I'm here.